Types of people you meet in KTM.

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1. The Love Birds 

You can already guess where I'm going at. These are the couples you see in KTM, usually sticking to each other and successfully making people around them uncomfortable. Bruh, you better stop kissing your girlfriend on the train because knowing KTM, it might brake suddenly and you might end up kissing the uncle beside you. Cheitt. The worst part is when the train is super packed and I can't move my face away from the Titanic pt 2 going on in front of me. I mean come on la guys, I get all awkward when a romantic scene comes on the TV and you expect me to keep a straight face while you guys are doing the same thing?  Dear lovebirds,  I will shoot y'all the next time I see y'all on the KTM. No no,  no gun abuse will happen. Maybe I'll just sling shot your face.



 
2. Selena Gomez

These are the people who are constantly fidgeting and this is super annoying especially when the train is packed.  They are like "Can't keep my hands to myselfff". See what I did there?
Anyhow, these people are constantly reaching into their pockets to grab something or switching handles. Just constantly doing something with their hands and constantly accidentally hitting the people around them. I have stopped counting the amount of times I've been elbowed in the face when riding the train. Listen bro,  your hair looks fine, there's no need to comb it now.

 
3. The heavy butts(translate to Malay)

The most ignorant people on the train. A 23 months pregnant lady might be standing in front of this person but they'd still refuse to give them a place to sit. Let it be someone old or someone without legs or Abraham Lincoln, these people don't give an EFF. They'd be warming up that seat like nobody's business. The worst is when they put their bags on another seat. Gah. I've met too many of these people on the train and I'm pretty sure I'll meet more. Grow up, pls or bring your own chair.



 
4. The predators

The worse kind of them all. These are the guys who use a packed train as an advantage to harass girls or boys around them. If you ever come across one of them, punch them on the nose and say, "mosquito".





 
5. The DJ

This person is playing their song from their phone and the whole train can hear it. The word "headphones or earphones" does not exist in this person's vocabulary. I kinda like this person because you need hella confidence to blast a song in a train where people might look at you and judge your music taste. That's courage right there. And it also lifts up the mood in the coach, giving it a nice vibe. You rock, DJ Lil KTM.


 
6. The Higglypuffs

Don't ask me why I used that term. It just seemed right. So, higglypuffs are the friendly people you meet in KTM. The ones who can strike up a conversation and keep it going until they reach their station. That is pure talent, seriously. To talk to strangers and keep the conversation alive is a very difficult thing to do. I love these people because they all make my day a little bit more better. They are also usually the ones who offer up their seats to those who need it. They are straight up #KTMgoals

 
7. The anti-higglypuffs

Basically the opposite of the Higglypuffs. Their faces are fixed like they just swallowed a rotten egg. Or maybe they are having a bad day? We don't know what a person is going through. So, don't judge them based on their facial expression but make sure to give them a smileeee. You might make their day.

 
8. The bulls

It's Newton's 5th law that the people inside the train must exit first before the ones on the platform enter the train. But do people listen to Newton? NO. I don't understand the logic. Do you like riding a train with 10 million people in it? No? Then let them go out first la!

Ples

 
9. The public speakers

These type of people are literally Public Speakers because whenever they speak on the phone, the entire public in the train can hear everything they say. Oh yeah, now I know that you are going for Chinese food for dinner and also that you hate a guy named Chan who is your colleague plus your jokes aren't funny and your laugh is annoying especially when you are laughing at your own non-funny jokes.


 
10. Dora the explorer

Just like Dora, they ask "Where are we going next?" about a hundred times in 30 minutes.
"Erm, what is the next station?"
"Will this train go to Kl sentral?"
"What is the last station?"
"Is this the LRT or KTM?"
"What is the meaning of life?"
"Does God really exists?"
Lulz.
Its not that asking for directions is wrong. Just don't ask me. I mean, the only station I know is the station that I'm currently at and the station that I'm going to. Plus Kl sentral. Everyone knows KL Sentral If you ask me for directions, it would start with a long awkward "Ermmm" and end with "Sorry, I don't know". That look of disappointment on your face would just break my heart,baby.  So, just ask the information counter instead. Or maybe learn a thing or two from Dora and use a map.

 
11. The sage

These are the people who go in deep meditation whenever they're in the train. And by meditation, I mean sleep. And by people, I mean ME.  I can sleep standing and this talent usually comes handy when it comes to sleeping in the train. Sleep is good. Sleep is life..



And those are the types of people you'll meet in KTM! Do share it if it made you giggle or maybe even a snort of air through your nose. Hope you had fun reading this.

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K bye

With little bit of love,
Dheephikha

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