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I have a friend. Or at least I think I could call her that. She has been by my side for most of my life. Everything I do, I confide in her and she does the same. We're pretty much inseparable. I love her to death but my friend, she is destroying me.
I didn't realise it at first. I thought it was normal. I thought it wasn't something major. I thought I could shrug it off. But as days flew by, I was terribly affected by her actions. If words could kill, I'd be dead by now.
There was this one time when I wanted to try out a really pretty blue dress. It had tiny white birds on it and had the most delicately decorated neckline with tiny gemstones. It was love at first sight, you could say. My friend snickered and said, "Yeah sure. It would look good on you IF you could fit in it. HAHA"
Oh, and that time when I was finally ready to take on a huge crowd to give a speech and when I turned to her for a pat on the back and a good luck, she said " You are definitely going to embarrass yourself".
When I was struggling for my final exam, not being able to remember the complex equations and formulas, she said "Why are you so stupid? This is so easy!"
With every bite of food I take, I hear her saying, "That is too much. You are already so fat".
It wasn't always like this. When we were young, we always had a good time. She loved me for who I am and never tried to change me. But as we grew up, she started looking at others and how they were and decided that that's how its supposed to be and that how we should act too. She listened to others more than listening to what I wanted or what I felt about certain things. Most of the time, she makes me feel like I'm worthless and that I do not deserve the life that I have. She almost made me believe it too. Yes, it's undeniable that she has been with me through all my ups and downs but most of my downs were because of her.
She has become a baggage to me. A baggage that I need to lose and for it to never reach me again. This is enough. I've had enough.
So now, I walk towards my mirror, look at myself and say, "Enough is enough". Because that friend who I was talking about is me. I have somehow evolved into my own enemy. I barely give myself a chance. I put myself down before anyone else could do it. I listen to what others think is right for me without giving a single thought of what I want. I've stopped myself from doing what I want or what makes me happy because I am afraid of what others might think of it. I have to stop this.
We all have to stop this. When are we going to realise that the only reason we're not where we want to be is because of ourselves? We encourage others to pursue their dreams or to do what that makes them happy but we don't do the same for ourselves. We discourage ourselves, treat ourselves lesser than we treat others and become our worst non-building critics.
So, stop now. Throw this 'friend' away. Cut the damn friendship. Instead, make a new one. One that uplifts you and supports you in all ways. One that will say "You can definitely do it, just try again". One that will put a smile on your face and keep it there. One that will say "you DEFINITELY look good in that dress". Remember now and always that it's your life and it's your choice.
I HAD a friend. She TRIED to destroy me but she failed.
Author's note: I hope after reading this, at least a few of y'all will change your mind. I hope this will bring forward a positive change. Share this with everyone you know. Help make someone else's life positive again as well as yours.
Loads of love,
Dheephikha
1 comments
Thanks''' now and always 🤗😇😍
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